It's all neither here nor there. Here's my process: wake-up; goto sleep. wake-up; drive to work; drive home; goto sleep. There are subtle deviations, shades and sometimes even very bright variations to this routine, but for the time being that's it. And what's worse sometimes what seems to occupy the 'in-between time' of these varying extremes matters even less and less. Is this a problem? Let's say I manage to accomplish a shit-load of work and feel very grand or even a little inflated about what I've written or painted, blogged, designed, whatever - how does this contribute any more or less to my process? I'm sure the answer will come to me in my sleep.
postscript: the hunter-gather of antiquity may have not shared the same existential dilemma , although perhaps troubled by dreams of charging saber-toothed tigers, his/her bounty was measured by the warmth of the fire in his cave, and the bear meat in his belly. Similarly, hearing myself vent all this pseudo-nonsense gives me ample insight into my own un-satiated needs and my somewhat desperate attempts of placing this all in the context of a 'higher purpose'.
I can sit here and babble as long as I like, but the script is all linear. I believe a revolving pictorial symbolic-system is much more effective in communicating meaning. The abstract connection between non-pictorial language and that which it represents, I think is the basis for much of our species alienation from nature. It's like we're engaged in a constant game of Tetris - everything is always falling around us and we're desperately trying to stack it all up for time runs out.
The best example to describe the semiotic disparity I often feel trying to connected to this 'greater whole' is summarized best by the semi-inquisitive question knocked around, "Do you believe in God?" Of course my reply is always non-sensical, but profound (in as much as I believe it is): "God is a three letter word." To define its literal meaning reaching back to Catechism is helpful where 'god' is defined as all knowledge, all power, and all presence. So, it is clear from this perspective that a god cannot be devisable, there can be no 'thing', 'aspect' or 'position' which is not 'GOD' accordingly.
The essence of what I'm getting at here, is that we seek to understand understanding as we understand it. What's unseen or unrealized is not inherently embraced in our social or cultural paradigm by anyone other than those who dare peer behind the veil.
MEM
