i am home here at the mill
it is a dark night, dark, black
the darkest of all nights.
the light in our house is dimmer,
the glaze of a dream light,
letting me know, that nothing is as it seems,
matt and gabriel come home
there is a chaos about and through it
i decide to make order..
there is a glass that matt mentions is half full,
and promises it to gabriel later
in the evening.
matt sets the glass down on a small table
that collects clutter in our kitchen
without a thought, i whisk the glass away and dump it's contents down the drain.
"o-did you want this blurts out of my mouth"
there is a look of malaise on both their faces..
"shit" i think.
they had been planning to dye their hair
and that was the last of the peroxide,
i immediately volunteer to go out to the store for more.
some one decides to make a list of items needed from the store
matt starts jotting things on a yellow piece of paper.
the phone rings and i decide to answer
on the other end is my dad
in a faint voice i can hardly decipher
what he is saying to me. my attention is scattered
and i can not devote any real focus to him,
i try to let him know i have to leave,
but it doesn't get through to him. the conversation fades to nothing.
just then that special someone comes bursting through the door.
and i am so glad to see him. "baby, lets get out of here..."
the first words out of my mouth.
we embrace each other.
we bound out the door with a chuckle,
embrace, laugh, and find our way through
the maze of doors to the out side.
we are in the parking lot,
his car is there, and i think we get in and drive away,
but i can't remember
i notice that i am in my bed,
but i look up and see the stars,
it is cold and i wrestle with my blankets.
i realize i am sleeping in the parking lot.
the stars are wonderful and bright, but i don't want to be there.
i sense something raw, a predatorial sent
someone is at the foot of my bed.
a very intense primal fear surges through my body.
the predator senses my fear..
i can not move, i am paralyzed with fear,
until i leap up and slash like a wild beast
protecting my territory